Do you have feelings for not be able to succeed and then stop doing things in life because you are afraid of failing? You have just concluded not moving forward and stay in the same place as you always have been due to avoid not make any other mistakes or being judged by your surrounding. Maybe it is less energy demanding to stay in the comfort zone and therefore not risky either emotional up- and downwards or financial loss.
Meanwhile, you either work in a job that you aren´t much passionate about and being stuck in a rat race of thoughts.
Or that you had not a job for a long time because of tiredness of being tired to take action in the right direction.
During the job-seeking process, it is usually about how you can marketing yourself to be productive in that kind of job you are searching for. And if there are other qualities which are required then all of them have to be in a positive way. In this case, we can discuss if it is about your competence that matters. Or does it has something to do with your past that you are constantly be reminded about to associate the progress with bad experiences? And it all ends that you are still miserable about your current situation and you will not dare to have big dreams.
In this website, I will be describing the definition of fear of failure, what causes it, and how to overcome it to be able to have a passion for work and life, you always wanted.
The definition of fears of failure
We all have different experiences of failing either in continually searching for jobs and have to go through a tough interview to prove ourselves but at that time we didn´t get the job for several reasons. The prework had been that we graduated with a qualification education. And after we did lots of research on the market place thinking about the competition and how to write an attractive job application. All the hard efforts in work and time had been for nothing during that time.
Or when we try to lose weights with many diets or strict programs in exercise but failed. And therefore every time we try to do the same effort to achieve our goals, the subconscious mind always reminds us about the same failures in the past. Feeling of failing and ashamed to maybe go through the same process again. This will, therefore, stop us to make any progress to be healthy or become successful.
Contradictionally to put all of the hard work to achieve our goals, we will instead form the behaviors and actions into areas that are not reminding us about failings and to have any painful emotions at all. In other words, we do everything else for not having any success in work and be happy in life.
The meaning of fears can be relative to all of us. One can relate fears to be ashamed for not having completed a duty that is expected, while for another it is a learning curve to gather experiences and to be ready for the next mission.
What causes fear of failure?
The root of fears sometimes has to do with that you have atychiphobia, meaning that you are suffering from irrational thoughts in the past, which leads to constant fears of failing. This syndrome tends to be a part of other disorders, like mood-, anxiety, and an eating disorder. But if you are the one who is a perfectionist and always strive for the highest results, then atychiphobia in most cases in your life controls you.
The spectrum of this phobia of actychiphobia is differently extreme for everyone, from mild to very extreme. You can be paralyzed from being able to past the simplest tasks at home, in school, or at work. Therefore you will be missing out much of the important opportunities in work and life.
- hard to breath
- fast heart rate
- tightness and pain in the chest
- trembling or shaking sensations
- light headache
- hard time to melt food
- hot or cold flashes
- strong panic attack or anxiety
- overreact to avoid a situation related to fears
- a feeling of personality separation
- a feeling not having control over a situation
- you want to die or pass out
- you often feel not having the ability to change your life for the better
How to overcome the fears of failure
According to Brian Tracy, there are two things you can do first to preventing from feeling fears. The first one is recognition and believing that you can achieve things if you are focusing on it. The second one is always reminding yourself of being someone special and can bring value to you and others. And then you conclude a temporary mistake or failing is another opportunity in the right direction to success.
While Tony Robbins said, it is all about excuses for not taking any action. Often we hear people say that they don’t have enough technology, money, or developing courses. Or I have struggled so hard to lose weights for having been trying out everything which didn´t work. He claimed that we all have to change the state of mind in our emotions for believing in the shift we are looking for. To be passionate enough, honest, and clear determination for looking for answers. Sometimes it is also about that we haven´t found our right skills yet and strengthen them for the right purpose in mission.
To create a breakthrough to happen in our lives, we must take massive actions immediately. And even complex the project enough, that it becomes the most enemy of excuses. More importantly, remember to always have the right strategy in everything we do. And that we most of all don´t allow our story with a lot of failures in the past being the biggest obstacles in resistance. Always believing in yourself that you can do anything if you put your mind to it! To believe is the central key to success, Tony told.
And for whom of you who are constantly struggling with atychiphobia, be aware of yourself can be the solution.
Ask yourself questions like:
- what can I learn from this mistake?
- What is the positive way in this situation?
- How do I feel when it is negative and how do I change it?
Also, be reminded to be kind to yourself when it is negative due to lack of confidence and that you have to be perfect all the time. You can treat yourself as a friend with sympathy and understanding. When this happens you are ready to move on to another level.
Psychotherapy is another effective way to treat the syndrome of atychiphobia, including Cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT). The main purpose of this treatment is to make you get familiar and feel comfortable with the failures you had experienced and with other tools to help you to overcome those.
Othertimes you also need to be supported by medications contained substances like Beta Blockers to block the adrenaline from having fast heart rate and blood pressure that makes the body shake at that moment. Also, Sedatives can make you feel more relaxed and getting rid of the anxiety in you.
How to stop caring about what other people think
Be rationale with your thinking
- We as humankind would probably be thinking less about others if we knew the real fact that they have so much in their mind that they don´t have the time caring about you. If you met a person and the meeting seemed to be less satisfied, and you became anxious and worried, then the other person either had insecurities or also felt the same.
Find your tribe
- Try to be with people who see and appreciate who you are. Avoid those who want you to satisfy their needs. The author Brown in his book “Daring Greatly” explained that the real truth of belonging arrives when we declare the value of self-acceptance is the highest priority. Also when we define and be aware of our weaker qualities, we in that way come closer to the truth of the universe in law.
- Challenge yourself by straining the boundaries outside the comfort zone. Take risks and go for it. Allowing us to speak about those failures to grow.
Accept help from others
- Sometimes it is better seeking help on time when you are suffering from mental illness or trauma for a longer time. Health care with professional staff can provide you with sustainable therapy and medication.
Be kind to yourself
- Due to that, you can never please everyone in reality. Instead, make an effort to find your path to the goal. by being the nice person you want to be. This is the fastest way toward the final destination you wished for.
Don´t react strongly to negative comments
- When people on social media make unconstructive opinions about your look and the way you should behave. You don´t have to lie all of your life for it. Maybe it seems to happen for that person either had a bad day or not being happy with themself in life. You don´t also have always to bother the concern about adjusting yourself by only relying on this.
Be independent with your emotions
- You can be addicted to always base your performance on when others give you a positive response, and when you won´t get any credit for it, your whole world is falling apart. Or simply when you feel rejecting by your partner over silly and bagatelle actions, especially when the person didn´t do it with purpose. You start to overanalyze the meaning of your love, which isn´t always the truth.
Don´t punish yourself as long as you do your best
- There are moments when we can not be there spending time with our family because of how busy it can be at work or that we are afraid to say no when the boss demanding overtime. The same time blaming and being hard on ourselves not being a part of the family consistently. In conversions during the day with the business partners or the members of the family, when we buy a consequence had said something we didn´t mean and the rest time of the day can not let go of how we couldn´t handle it better. It all ends that we more than often are stuck in the guilty of not have been valuable enough to our environment. With that said we don´t even know anymore when we can be satisfied and kind to ourselves when having done the best in the situations.
Be aware that nobody is perfect
- It is easier for us to judge and blame ourselves when things didn´t go our way. For example as the job seeker for being rejected once, we can either choose to have failed big and define us as a loser for the rest of our lives. Or we can research the most successful businessmen and women in the world also had been in dept and broke once after failing in the business they believed in and then starting working from scratch again. This point of view will prove to us that anybody can make mistakes and seeing someone´s success in fortune is sometimes just the tip of an iceberg.
Focus on your goals
- When you are focused on what is most important for me right now to improve my life and the surrounding, then you will have less time caring about what others thinking and even the negative thoughts about you. You will also become more alert and want to solve and change things and problems which are most relevant at the moment. And even being accepted for things you can´t do something about and then be more understandable for yourself and what you are capable of achieving. In that way, you also become more conscious about now. The relationships with the family and your business partners also turn to be more reliable, because you even transformer to be a great listener. And therefore be able to easier identifying their needs genuinely.
Be inspired by someone you admire
- Pick a role model in the niche you want to succeed in. Then read about that person’s biography and be influence by the achievement and struggling toward success. Learn and try to apply the methods and strategies that had worked for that person. You will be more united with your frequency of vibration to be able to think big and even outside the box. When your desires are connected and involved in activating, it is more motivated for you to take regularly massive actions. In a certain way, you also become an expert with the project you want to accomplish and manage the skills that are needed.
Take time to meditate
- Invest your time when possible and get in contact with your inner voice and know yourself on a deeper level. Focus on what does your heart desire and what you want the most for now. Allow yourself to be passionate and be able to love. Open your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable. When breathing try to regulate the energy flows in you. Release all the dark and bad energies when breathing out, and absorb the most beautiful and light energies when breathing in. Also, visualize a point when focusing. It could be a chi ball or an accumulation place of energy and expand it to a gradual range so far to the universe and even further if you can. In the end, gathering all of the energies into you and close your mind to relax for a couple of minutes. Do this ritual every day and you will find peace and be harmonize with all you will get contact and attachment to.
Life is very short to waste your energy on unnecessary thoughts and what you don´t have to do or can´t change. Be your best friend in every situation in life and chose each day to be a miracle. Do things and be out there to take part and enjoy the best while you can. Do even a bucket list and concentrate on what in life you want the most. And what makes your life to be meaningful and that you want to wake up every day and looking forward to joining the journey. If you are a helpful and generous person, why don´t you integrate with projects that can make an impact for you and others? Be valuable and needed to your own family and those you much want to help out there. Make life to your own and earn it with sparkle. Then you don´t have the time and energy for caring about what others think of you and who you should become.